Sextortion Scams: What to Do When Someone Threatens to Expose You Online

A message arrives that makes your stomach drop. The sender claims to have nude photos or a video of you, or says they recorded you through your webcam while you visited an adult website. They demand payment in Bitcoin, gift cards, or a wire transfer. If you do not pay, they promise to send the images to your spouse, your children, your boss, your friends, or everyone on your contact list. This is sextortion, one of the fastest-growing online extortion schemes. It targets every age, but adults in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are often chosen because they may have more money, established relationships, and a strong fear of embarrassment.

Understand first that most of these threats are fake. Scammers send thousands of identical emails or direct messages, hoping a few people will panic and pay. They often include a password found in an old data breach to make the threat seem real. They may claim they installed malware and recorded you. In reality, they usually have nothing. They are bluffing. The password is old, the webcam claim is invented, and the video does not exist. They are counting on shame and fear to make you act before you think.

Some cases are not fake. If you actually sent intimate images to someone you met online, or if you allowed a stranger to talk you into a private video call, the criminal may truly have material. This is still extortion. You are the victim, not the wrongdoer. Paying does not make the problem go away. In fact, paying usually makes it worse. Once a scammer knows you will send money, they often demand more. The only reliable way to end the cycle is to stop communicating and stop paying.

Do not reply to the message. Do not argue, negotiate, or beg. Every response confirms you are frightened and reachable. Instead, save the evidence. Take screenshots of the messages, emails, usernames, payment demands, and any images or links. Do not delete the original emails or texts. Keep the original messages and do not clean up your accounts until you have saved everything. This information helps law enforcement identify the criminal and may help you prove what happened if the person follows through with a threat.

Then block the sender on every platform where they contacted you. Change the passwords on your email, social media, banking, and other important accounts. Use a different password for each account, and turn on two-factor authentication wherever it is available. If the scammer claims to have hacked your computer or phone, run a reputable security scan. Check your accounts for unfamiliar activity and review your credit reports for signs of identity theft.

Report the extortion. In the United States, you can file a complaint with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center, known as IC3. You can also contact your local police, especially if the threat involves violence, someone showing up at your home, or a demand that feels immediate and specific. If the scammer is using a social media account, report it to the platform. These reports may not lead to an arrest in every case, but they help authorities track patterns and warn others.

Tell someone you trust. Sextortion feeds on isolation. The scammer wants you to believe that hiding the problem is better than facing it. That is a lie. A spouse, close friend, adult child, or counselor can help you stay calm and make clear decisions. If you have young people in your family, have the same conversation. Teenagers and young adults are frequently targeted, and they may be even more afraid to speak up.

Finally, protect yourself going forward. Be wary of strangers who quickly profess love, ask to move to a private chat, or request intimate photos or video calls. If someone threatens to expose you, remember that you are dealing with a criminal, not a judge. Your reputation and relationships are more resilient than the scammer wants you to believe. You are not to blame for a crime committed against you. The fastest way to take away their power is to refuse to pay, save the evidence, report the crime, and lean on people who care about you.